Arrival at the emigration station: week 1 in Oz

That moment where you think ‘what the hell am I doing?’ The world has been kind to me since Mum was the last person I hugged almost a week ago. 275 hours, to be exact. Saying goodbye to her had my heart as heavy as a rock. I crumbled at the thought of being so far apart from my best friend, and as I sit here writing, that rock sits firmly in my throat as I try to swallow a flood. Maybe that’s more to do with an Aerosmith song playing in the background right enough. God damn power ballads. But don’t stop reading thinking that this is going to be a super sad post, I said the world had been good to me, right? And it has. Let me explain… First off, despite the first leg of the journey being delayed, I made my connection. Hurrah! Having missed that […]

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Future fearing & 5 tips to overcome it

Why is that when we don’t know the outcome of something, we imagine the worst? Think of the last job you were waiting to hear about, or how you feel when your boss asks for ‘a chat’. What about when you’re waiting on test results. Our default position in our heads is usually negative, right? Someone else will get the job, your boss thinks you’ve f*cked up, and you’re about to get shitty news on the health front. The rationale is that this type of thinking can help protect us from the shock of worst case scenario, like a security blanket. But sometimes the blanket turns out to be an explosive vest, blowing our dreams to smithereens and stopping us from living the life we want to live. I had my tarot cards read late last year, in the hope that I could find out whether I should or should […]

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A love letter to Glasgow, and the folk in it

Dear green place, and its people You welcomed me in your gutsy embrace 15 years ago, and my utter admiration for you has grown with each passing day. It wasn’t love at first sight, granted…when I first arrived with a car full of memories to fill my room in Halls, I thought you stank – literally and metaphorically. There was a stench of piss in the air that made my lungs feel faint, and I was damned if I could understand a bloody word anyone said. Who is hen, what is ginger and why did no one prepare me for ‘taps aff’? But the more tasty city smells soon took over my nostrils, the people become my favourite and the banter grew to become a craving inĀ each day. I’ve trotted my way around over 100 cities in the time I’ve lived here, and I can safely say that not one […]

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My 9 step ‘tattoo day’ routine

At certain points in my life, having a tattoo appointment has become as regular as getting my legs waxed or hair chopped. It’s such a time-consuming and expensive, yet pleasurable part of life that I would go as far as saying it’s now a fully fledged hobby. Given it’s prominence in my routines, I’ve created a bit of a ritual around tattoo collecting which makes the whole experience less about painful endurance, and more about having the most fun I can have. I’d say the most fun you can have whilst being attacked by a bunch of needles hundreds of times per minute for hours on end, that is. Here’s the random routine I follow to help get me prepared for the chair: Avoid drink the night before The first step in my tat day routine actually begins the night before – by staying aff the booze. Alcohol thins the […]

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